


Charlie Wins The Waitress

by darkly_dreamings



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gay, Love Story, Love Triangle, M/M, it's always sunny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkly_dreamings/pseuds/darkly_dreamings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the smash hit (and miss?) The Nightman Cometh, things kinda fall apart. An angry Charlie, an sexually confused Mac and a whole motherload of weirdness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlie Wins The Waitress

 

 

That was it. The Nightman Cometh was a disaster. Complete trash. Charlie stormed backstage, throwing his cane to the ground and tearing off his golden tie.

 

“Look, Charlie, I think it went great”, Mac boasted, “I think the audience loved me, but the stupid sons-of-bitches kept laughing at me and I-“

 

Charlie’s fists were so tight his knuckles turned white. A ball of heat was building up deep within Charlie’s stomach and was quickly rising to his chest. 

 

“I think I was the best part of the show, I mean, did you hear my vocals?” said Dennis greedily.

 

Dee interrupted, “No way, boners. You’re all crazy, I was obviously the crowd pleaser. Queen Bitch here! Alright!”

 

Dennis objected, as did Mac who both began to raise their voices to be heard. 

Soon Frank joined in as did Dee and the backstage became a pool of curses and degrading remarks, and that’s all it took. 

 

“What is wrong with you guys!?” bellowed Charlie, “What the _hell_ is wrong with all of you?!”

 

Charlie’s voice was the loudest of the gang’s, always had been, but this time it had a good reason to be. 

The entire gang grew silent as Charlie’s whole body shook with fury,

 

“This was my one chance! My one, slim, chance to get with her!”

 

Tear’s began forming in Charlie’s eyes, “I trusted you guys…I thought…I thought you guys would make it happen. I thought that you would do this one simple thing for me. Aren’t you guys my friends? I do so much, so, so, much for you!”, Charlie tried his hardest to hold back the sobs he felt building in throat.

 

_“I can’t believe any of you!”_

 

Charlie threw his golden yellow top hat across the room and his shaggy hair stood up on it’s own. 

“This was all just huge mistake, all of it”, hissed Charlie as he stormed to the backstage door. Kicking it. However it didn’t budge, so with shame, he pushed it open and headed out into the warm Philadelphia night.

 

* * *

 

“God damn-it”, moaned Dee “Look at what you asshole’s did!”

 

“Us? Excuse me little miss ‘i wrote my own song and ruined the whole show’! I mean what the hell was that about?”, argued Dennis.

 

“Yeah, well at least I wasn’t a stiff little dick on stage.”

 

“GUYS!”, shouted Mac, “Stop arguing for one minute. Don’t you see what we did to Charlie? He trusted us, guys, and we just threw that in his face. This was really important to him."

 

There was a pause and Mac continued, “I think we are all to blame here, we all were selfish when we should’ve been supporting Charlie."

 

The three agreed by nodding, expect for Frank who had opened his forth beer.

* * *

 

Slamming the door behind him, Charlie, collapsed onto the sidewalk. The cool night air of Philadelphia sweeping through his shaggy and rather unkept hair, causing his tears to become cold streaks on his face; that only fueled his anger. Charlie brought his knees up to his chest and sunk his head between them, completely defeated. With all his might he tried to hold back a sob, but being the sensitive guy Charlie was, he broke down and wept. When out of the car honks and cursing came a soft voice,

 

“Charlie? Charlie are you okay?”

 

The voice was sweet and nervous, almost as if it as second guessing it’s decision to come and speak to Charlie. With tear stricken eyes, Charlie lifted his head. His face red and puffy, (this time it was from crying not sniffing glue). Wiping his eyes on his yellow tuxedo sleeve he saw the waitress. Awkwardly clutching her purse and trying to keep the hair out of her eyes from the evening breeze. 

 

“Were you crying?”, she asked.

 

Charlie quickly jumped to his feet,

 

“What? Me? No! Of course not!” he squeaked out.

 

There was a moment of silence between the two that was filled in with the cursing of a nearby homeless man.

 

Until Charlie continued, “Okay, yeah I may have been cryin’, but just a little bit."

 

The silence returned. The waitress paused a moment and clutched her purse closer to her body. “I…I liked the show Charlie”, she finally admitted, 

“It looks like you put a lot of effort into it, I’m just sorry your assholes for friends messed it-“

 

“Whoa, wait…you liked the show?”

 

“Yeah, I mean…Writing a whole script and songs is really difficult but you were able to do it. It was pretty impressive."

 

Charlie could feel his heart begin to expand, he had never experienced this much happiness before. Besides that one time when he got the Green Man costume, or when he almost danced with The Waitress at that dance off. _Man, those were freakin’ awesome._

 

“Charlie?”, poked The Waitress

 

“Oh! Yeah, sorry…so you liked it? That’s great! I’m glad!”, Charlie then contorted into a pose that he thought was sexually appealing to the opposite sex…it wasn’t.

 

“You know…I wrote that little ol’ thing for you. You know you-“

 

“Were the coffee serving princess waitress? Yeah, got that."

 

Charlie paused for a moment,

“And I was the-“

 

“The little six year old boy who had a crush on me?”

 

“God Damn-it! He wasn’t a little boy! …It was a metaphor man…you see he…he turns into a man…and forget it. The main thing is you liked it."

 

“Yeah”, The Waitress replied shyly. She clutched her hand bag

 

The awkward silence continued until finally The Waitress cleared her throat, "So...Charlie...are you...are you free this weekend?"

 

"FREE? ME? I'M ALWAYS FREE! I'M TOTALLY AVAILABLE!"

Charlie could feel nervous sweat streaming down his forehead.

 

"Well...would you want to go get lunch or something on Saturday? I get off work around one so maybe we cou-"

  
"IS THIS A DATE?"

 

"NO! It's just... I feel bad that you went through so much trouble and it was really sweet so... I mean... it's not a date. I'll come by the bar at one thirty."

 

Charlie stood in the dim lighting, his legs shaking and his face in the widest smile possible. 

 

"Okay, cool. See you around, Charlie", and with that The Waitress walked back to her car. Regretting her kind gesture. Kinda...

 

* * *

Huddled in a group the gang spitballed ideas to cheer Charlie up.

 

"Why don't we just do that chicken in pants thing again?", suggested Mac

 

"We already did that, moron", hissed Dee

 

"No, Mac's right", defended Dennis, "Charlie is so clueless he probably won't remember the fact that we already did this for him"

 

A collective head nod ensued but was interrupted by the sound of the stage door bursting open and a sweat stained Charlie.

 

"GUYS! THE WAITRESS AND I ARE GOING ON A DATE"

 

Dee, Mac and Dennis all exchanged looks, "what the fu-"

 

_It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Charlie Wins the Waitress_

_(cue the intro music)_

 

 


End file.
